Dealing with Disappointment. Mastery Newsletter March 15, 2017

Written by joyenergyandhealth on . Posted in Blogs, Joy, Energy and Health, Mastery Newsletter

It’s not so easy.

 

The Toastmasters International Speaking Competition was underway. I had entered. I really hoped and expected to win at the first stage, the club level.

 

I put a lot of work into prepping. I whittled down my talk to ensure I would stay within the seven and a half minutes allotted. Going over means elimination.

 

I knew I had to have a strong opening and closing. A good story arc was essential, tying the concepts together.

 

I included a story. Us humans love stories.

 

I tried for some humour and did get a chuckle or two. Good.

 

Audience involvement. Had to work at that, but got some of that too.

 

My topic was “Super-Motivation.”

 

Recently I had learned that dopamine is the hormone of motivation. So I had great material to work with.

 

I also knew I had to up my game with more animation. While I can be expressive with my voice, I sometimes don’t use gestures and facial expression enough.

 

Had to smile too. I look quite dour when I don’t smile.

 

As you will note, I took a lot of pains to fine tune this thing.

 

Truth be told, I thought I would ace it.

 

Not to be.

 

The winning talk was incredibly good. About a Volkswagen being decimated and torn apart in an automatic car wash. Superb delivery. Got tons of laughs. He really deserved it.

 

But…I WAS disappointed. I had so hoped to win.

 

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn’s quote came to mind. In reaching to become a millionaire, it is not about what you achieve, but about who you become in making the effort.

 

I certainly learned a lot by entering the contest. AND I now have the base of my signature talk which I can use going forward.

 

That’s a win.

 

When we compete, we sharpen our skills. Definite win there.

 

Still…

 

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling the emotion. Perhaps it was resentment.

 

I am grateful to have some techniques that helped out.

 

Deep and slow breathing.

 

Directing my intention to release the jaw muscles and the eye muscles. That always is great.

 

Plus allowing the body to tremble.

 

When we face disappointment, I find it useful to consider that it is trauma, emotional trauma.

 

One does not want to hang on to that.

 

My body has picked up the ability to release it by trembling. See David Berceli’s work with the Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tension_%26_Trauma_Releasing_Exercises

 

I use laughter a lot to release trauma. 3 am was not a great time for it, so these other techniques helped a lot.

 

Lesson: It’s not about “getting over it.”

 

Often that means burying the trauma. It can mean the muscular tension remains. No sense carrying that kind of weight.

 

It’s more about releasing. Allowing it to have full sway and moving through the emotional and physical bodies.

 

What do you do to release the effects of disappointment in your life?

 

 

 

 

To Your Joy, Energy and Health,

 

 

Matti Anttila

 

Mission: To help you take shortcuts to More Joy, Energy, Health and fulfillment in life.

 

Find out How to Feel Authentic Joy, Even When Unhappy http://joyenergyandhealth.com

 

Includes: 108 Tips for More Joy, Energy and Health delivered once a week to your inbox…until you say stop. J

 

 

Motto: To Get the Most Out of Life: Help Others Get the Most Out of Theirs.

 

Author of:

The Zen of Joy. How to Rewire Your Brain for Happiness & Success. http://zenofjoy.com

 

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© Copyright 2017 Matti Anttila,

304 – 1834C Oak Bay Avenue, Victoria, B.C. Canada V8R 0A4

 

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